On paper, things might look okay.

Your baby is healthy. You’re getting through the days. Maybe you even have support.

So why does it still feel like… a lot?

I was there, constantly trying to “look on the brightside” and “be grateful,” but it was exhausting. I was recovering from my C-Section after 50-something hours of labor. My body wasn’t making enough milk so I was pumping around the clock, I felt like my body was never my own, and on top of that, it felt like no one understood what I was going through.

I also felt like I couldn’t share what I was actually feeling because it would make me look like a terrible mother. But that was the other thing… I’m suddenly a mother now? Just a few weeks ago I was Xenia and today I am someone’s mother, which somehow makes me a different person?

Everything looked fine from the outside. I was doing everything I was “supposed” to, keeping track of her naps, her diaper changes, bedtime, how many ounces she drank, going on walks, taking all of the pictures.

Inside I was a ghost of myself. Wondering how I’d survive this feeling of groundhogs day, the same thing over and over. I tried joining the play gyms but I was just watching her the whole time, making sure she didn’t fall over or stick something gross in her mouth. The facebook mom groups were honestly a little scary. I never posted because I was too terrified of the judgement. None of my friends had kids yet, I just felt so alone.

I know I’m not alone in that experience- it’s what made me so passionate about helping other moms, about learning what was really happening in my body and brain and how that was affecting my day to day well being, especially as a therapist- I needed to know.

No one prepared me for the talks I needed to have with my partner or support system, that was all so new to me, especially always being the one they relied on- I needed to rely on them now. That felt completely overwhelming.

Not only could I have used this community and the support around having these conversations- ideally before baby arrives, but also just as important after. I’m so excited to bring this to you. A place where we can really dive in to the conversations that are so valuable around support, and just as important, if not more- the community.

I can't wait to share more about the membership community coming this summer, stay tuned!

If any of this resonated, you don't have to wait for the community and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.

If you are looking for more 1:1 support, you can book a free consultation here.

— Xenia

Xenia Hatzilias, LMHC, LPC

Licensed therapist | Founder, Xen Family Therapy

Virtually serving FL, PA, TN & WV